


Worth It

by thatonegamergirl117



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Ace/biro Alex, Aphobia, He's pretty chill, Homophobia, M/M, NONBINARY LAF, Other, Ply Herc, Trans John, also Poly Herc, even charles lee is gay, literally everyone is gay I don't make the rules
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-23
Updated: 2016-12-28
Packaged: 2018-09-01 18:56:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,381
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8634154
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatonegamergirl117/pseuds/thatonegamergirl117
Summary: John Laurens fiddled with the handcuffs around his wrists, the extra movement biting his skin gently. It was nice - grounding - after the adrenaline rush of the last hour. Looking back, he probably made all the wrong decisions any reasonable person would make, but for all the right reasons. Specifically one reason with shoulder length raven hair and the ability to worm his way into John's heart. Alexander Hamilton would be the death of him, but at least it would be fun while it lasted.





	1. Hi Alex, My Name is I'm Gay

**Author's Note:**

> So I'm on tumblr like the rest of you losers and I keep seeing people be gatekeeping aphobic assholes. Solution? Write an ace!alex fic. This was supposed to be a small oneshot and it turned into a monster of backstory and fluffy queer people being queer before we can actually get to the Alex-coming-out and some minor aphobia part. So that summary? Yeah it's gonna be awhile before it happens sorry y'all.  
> [Leap of Faith is on hiatus I am a bad Mental Health™ and they don't go well together]

Only a month ago had Alex walked - actually, stumbled and almost fallen - into John's life. The short college freshman had been consuming a book and walking at the same time. Unfortunately, the university was slow on their crumbling sidewalk maintenance this year. The result was John thanking his quick reflexes while the boy had simply become a deer in headlights, stiff as a board in his arms. 

"Oh, thanks, um...?" The boy trailed off, his voice much slower than he was used to while untangling himself from the freckled arms of his rescuer. 

"It's John, glad to know gravity still works," Laurens tried to stop himself from laughing at how the kid frantically checked the fallen book for damage. He may have also laughed at the kid's shirt, a beautiful piece of art stating 'Are you hearing crazy voices? Turn off Fox News!'

The kid finally looked back up at Laurens, seemingly content with the state of the book. "Alexander Hamilton," he started, "Thanks for the save - again. I can't imagine what my professor would think getting one of his books damaged, or bloody, the first day of classes. I can't believe he even lent it to me - it's a first edition you know. I'm a freshman here but I'm taking an accelerated study path and so I'm almost always reading or studying something or other and then I forget that not all sidewalks are perfectly paved - you'd think I of all people would know that - and then this happens. Oh! Do you know the way to the admissions office? I seem to have gotten myself turned around." 

John took a second to just admire the kid - Alexander, he reminded himself - and the paragraph he just shot out. Alexander (did he go by Alex for short?) was small in all aspects of the word, but his presence felt much larger. His messy ponytail only just managed to keep the raven hair under control. John found himself longing to sweep the extra strands behind the freshman's ear so he could better admire Alex's eyes. As his gaze started to fall, he snapped back to himself and remembered the man's inquiry. 

"The admissions office, uh, you're on the wrong side of campus for that," John explains, a plan already coming to mind. "I was just heading back to my dorm, I could drop you off along the way?"

"Oh," Alexander blushes, "I don't want to trouble you, I can walk just-"

"No! No I mean-" John cursed himself for being so forward, "it's not a big deal at all, really. Besides, I've made the walk before and you always regret it later, trust me." 

God, he was so bad at this. John shifted anxiously, wishing he'd never even offered to drive. He probably thought that Laurens was a creep or some guy looking to prank a freshman. 

Alexander blushed again before hesitantly meeting John's gaze. "That would be nice, thank you," he answered. His voice was slower again, and John briefly pondered why. 

Together, they made their way to the student parking not far off from their first meeting place. John took the quiet moment to wonder how the hell he seemed to have become so enamored with a freshman he met not even five minutes ago. At least Laf and Mulligan will enjoy the story, Laurens thought with amusement, it's not like I'll ever see Alex again. John clicked his key fob, and tried to not wince at Alex's look of shock when he realized which car was John's. 

"Perks of having an asshole republican for a father," John mumbled out as an explanation, figuring Alex wouldn't mind with his current choice in liberal shirts. The shorter man snorted in response, although he still took care when stepping into the car to not leave any smudges on the high gloss interior finish. "So," John broke the awkward silence that had settled between them, "what're you majoring in?" 

Alexander latched onto the question immediately, responding with enthusiasm, "Well I'm definitely majoring in political science for obvious reasons, I think. Although I've always pondered a pre-law track so something like philosophy would be good too, and I can't decide what I want to minor in. I'm trying to pick between English, Spanish, or French. Well, I'm only contemplating French because my archnemesis would hate if I was technically more educated on the only other language he knows - I mean I've always been the better one at French, but still - and the look on his face would be priceless."

John had to remind himself to keep his eyes on the road. There was just something so mesmerizing about the spark that was Alexander Hamilton, and John wanted more. All too soon, he was pulling into the admission's parking lot. "That's cool, maybe a little crazy, but cool. I'm in criminal justice right now, but I'm trying to convince my dad that not being a lawyer isn't the end of the world." 

"You should! I mean, you should change majors, you have time right?" Alexander questioned, his voice slowed down again. 

"Oh yeah, I'm only a sophomore." 

"Great! Besides, most criminal justice majors don't get into law anyway. The course isn't rigorous enough in my opinion," Alex responded, his mouth back to moving a mile a minute. John was beginning to think that's his normal setting. 

"Hey, are you doing anything this Friday? I, it's just, well there's the 'Picnic in the Park' thing that the university is putting on and we got a group going already but one guy flaked out so..." John trailed off, he regretted being so forward. This guy just wanted directions to admissions yet here John was asking him to hang out. 

Alexander looked down, avoiding John's gaze. He fidgeted with the book cover, sliding his hand under the hardback cover and across the first page before letting the book fall shut again. "Sure?" He squeaked out, suddenly seeming much smaller than before - if that was even possible. 

"Great! We're all meeting by the fountain in the main square around five, see you there?" John couldn't believe this was actually happening. At least his father was right about one thing: John Laurens was impulsive as fuck. 

Alex climbed out of the car, "Thanks, I - um - haven't really met anyone yet so this is nice." 

"Yeah," John replied, his voice dropping to a softer note, "See you later."


	2. Because Fluff Before Angst Makes It All Okay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Totally didn't almost forget to update today ^_^ Okay well between dealing with depression and migraines it can be pretty hard to function sometimes but on the bright side I've been accepted into a college! Now I just have to survive to graduation...
> 
> (And I've made a Hamilton-only tumblr so come find me @isitbcimgay for really shitty drawings and bad headcanons)

"John! Hey, sorry I know I'm late but this guy Burr was talking with Washington, and it was my scheduled meeting time but he wouldn't leave and so then I got held up in his office and he offered me a TA position next year - already!" Alexander took a deep breath. 

Hercules exchanged a glance with Laf, and John glared at them both. 

"You have Washington?" Hercules asked, all six feet of him towered over Alexander's small frame. He even seemed to be an inch shorter than John, a miracle in and of itself. Alex nodded in confirmation, his voice seemingly gone again just like the first day John met him. 

Hercules laughed, the tension broken. "Say hi to him for me; he's, like, almost the coolest professor on campus but my major doesn't require any of his classes, it sucks," He said. 

"You're just mad he wears the same exact coat every day and you'll never convince him to, how you say, 'change it up'" Lafayette replied. 

Hercules huffed, "The man walks past my contemporary fashion and design class four times a week, I see him through the window! That jacket is a sin." 

John rolled his eyes and glared at Laf, again. "You're fluent in English, Laf, stop trying to be all foreign." He looked back at Alex, noticing how the boy had somehow shrunk even smaller. "Guys, this is Alexander Hamilton. Alex, this is Hercules Mulligan and Lafayette. Don't ask me to pronounce their entire name, it inflates their ego more than necessary." He emphasized the pronouns, hoping Alexander would pick up on it and be okay. Otherwise, inviting him may turn out to be a disastrous mistake. 

Lafayette smiled, their face more smug than should be allowed. "It's a pleasure, mon ami," they said. 

Alex lit up, sticking his hand out, "You speak French?" 

"Oui," is all John understood before the two are lost in a rapid conversation - probably about baguettes, if John could guess. 

John looked at Hercules, shrugging and grabbing their stuff. They all start heading out to Mulligan's spot of choice, a shaded area underneath three large pine trees, still suffering the back and forth French banter that Lafayette and Alexander had yet to break out of. All around them, other groups of students were setting up blankets and pulling out food. 

Together - or rather, under Mulligan's strict supervision - their group does the same. 

After everything was set to perfection, and they were all enjoying Hercule's "spoils of war" as he called it (and John further explained how food shopping was Herc's least favorite kind of shopping) Laf casually threw a salad green in Herc's direction. The man, without a second thought, snatched the lettuce off the blanket and popped it into his mouth. 

"Mon ami!" Laf shrieks with laughter, "You cannot just eat food off the ground!" 

Hercules levels a glare at them, his amusement given away by a small grin. "Watch me," he challenges, which only incites Laf to continue throwing lettuce at him. Eventually, it turned into a game of making Hercules catch tossed food with his mouth. 

John glanced apologetically at Alexander, who just snickered and kept nibbling on his turkey sandwich. He may never get the courage to ask Alexander out, but maybe his friendship would be enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the short chapter! I'm trying really hard to push myself but when you live in a very neurotypical/conservative household it's not good for your health. Most of my writing is done to cope with dissociation and dysphoria idk why I'm explaining myself to y'all but okay ya bye 
> 
> Also the setting was inspired by three (?) trees that form a star-like shape at Willamette University. Very cool school, I just can't afford it.


	3. Nice Fight You Got There, Can I Join?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex refuses to admit he's ace, John refuses to admit he's actually very gay for Alex.  
> Samuel Seabury is a grade A homophobe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tw for homophobic comments, including implying that being gay causes HIV and is a disease itself. As is with most of my writing, based off my shitty life where this bullshit was actually said to me. I love y'all, thanks for putting up with my poor writing and even worse updating schedule. 
> 
> It's short and kinda pathetic. I'm not happy with it at all but at this point I'm so frustrated with myself I just had to get past this chapter.

 

Despite both Hercules' and Lafayette's whining, John refused to call Alexander after two ignored text messages and one curt "I'm busy. College." reply. It was obvious he had decided that their little trio was not the best friend group Columbia had to offer. Frankly, John wasn't surprised. Not many people stuck around after Laf's introduction and insistence on they/them pronouns - _yestheyweregrammaticallycorrectsingularpronounsthankyouverymuch_ \- let alone seemed to actually enjoy everyone's antics. 

 John sighed, resigned to the fate of only barely scraping by his boring _History of Law_ class, especially after multiple lectures occupied with thoughts of Alexander instead of who-passed-which-law. He packed up his notebook quickly, sliding out the door between other students. He needed to be moving, feeling agitated and frustrated - at Herc and Laf and _whoever_  - but he had another class at one o'clock and there wasn't enough time in between to get a good workout in, and he'd feel gross going on a run without time to shower before the class. 

 The pavilion area - encircled by multiple squat buildings - was getting crowded with the lunch rush. Many students had decided to lounge on the grass in the nice weather, and John found himself a small table alone. It was better that way, he thought, with how irritated he has been lately. 

 Suddenly, there was crowd forming in the corner of John's eye, the people yelling at each other obscured by the shadow of the chemistry lab building.  He quickly pocketed his phone and made his way over. If people were fighting he could get involved, break them up, throw a couple easy punches, and save the day - and his sanity. As he drew near John heard what must be the end of an argument, and possibly the beginning of an all out brawl. 

 "Yeah, well in _my_ opinion if you can't control some sick desires, it needs to be addressed. Should we just stop providing therapy to other mentally ill people, too?" The first voice says, his smug tone sickeningly smooth. 

 "I don't care what your opinion is! Your opinion doesn't negate fact, and the fact is you can't possibly change a person's sexuality with some brainwashed perverted version of bible camp! You know Jesus was friends with prostitutes, right? I don't think you understand what you're worshipping you absolute pompous ass!" Was that Alexander's voice? John starts, it was different when he yelled, growing sharp and hard where it was normally quick and light - usually able to flutter topic to topic. "And another thing, we're not mentally ill! Don't you dare think that this is some illness or disease that just needs to be fixed. Ever." 

 His voice has changed to a quieter growl, and John - taking advantage of his smaller form - squeezes to the front of the ring. Alexander stands leaning towards the "absolute pompous ass", ready to jump forwards at the slightest twitch. Whereas, the other man is standing with his arm crossed and a knee cocked - cool confidence - as if he hasn't just said the most homophobic thing on campus. John's still trying to take in all the information he's just gathered, mostly the ' _we'_ Alexander used, instead of ' _they'_ and he almost misses the man's response. 

 "I mean, you people already spread one disease - what's to say we missed the real epidemic?" His voice is sly, and he's turned back to laugh with his friends. 

 John lunges forward just in time to yank Alexander back from what would've been a (beautiful, well deserved) massacre. He pulls Alex behind him, and marches up to the douchebags. He recognizes Seabury as the leader of the disgusting group. A quick temptation of just whaling on the guy passes through John's mind before he decides to hold back, smirking up at him instead. "I'm so sorry for your loss," He says, thanking to whatever god that exists for Laf's endless list of classic comebacks - bless their soul. 

 "My - what?" Seabury's face screws into one of confusion. 

 "You're loss. That you'll never get a taste of this sweet ass," he quickly turns and grabs Alex, walking out of the crowd of 'ooohhhhs' until an entirely original John Laurens comes to mind. He whirls back around and shouts, "If you ever change your mind, call me!" With a wink before walking away, for good this time. 

 "Oh my god," Alex stopped and gaped at John outside his dorm building, "Did you see his face? That was awesome, man!" 

 John laughed along with him, "Wanna come help me relay the story to Laf and Herc? Assuming it hasn't blown up on social media yet." 

 "Please! You didn't even see the whole thing, did you?" Alex asked. 

 John shrugs, swiping his key card for the dorm building and holding it open for Alexander. "Nah," he said, "I only caught the important part." 

 Alex laughs, stepping inside the building. "Not exactly the best way to come out to, like, my one friend on campus but I guess we're both in the same boat there, huh?" John nods, hmm-ing along to Alexander's talking as he recounts the entire spectacle on the way up to the dorm room-

  _Shit._

 John forgot about his one o'clock lecture. He considered rushing back to the lecture hall and slipping into the back, but in the end celebrating their take down of Seabury seemed like a much better idea. Inside the dorm room, he laughs along with Laf and Herc as they retell the story. Alex even played the part of Seabury's face as John acted out his "most epic comeback of all time" as Laf came to call it. 

 "You know what this means?" Hercules asks after the laughter has died down. "We're no longer the Holy Trinity of Gays. We're, like, the Holy _Squardrinity_ now."

 "That is definitely not a word," Alex shoots back. 

 "I say we call it the tri-force, like Zelda, and Laf is the middle invisible triangle because that whole 'nonbinary doesn't exist' bullshit," John proposes. Lafayette agrees, immediately shoving a notepad in John's hand and requiring him to sketch the symbol out with an extra flair for their group. As he tries to get the lines perfectly symmetrical, he catches Laf not-so-subtly crawling into Herc's lap and kissing him senseless. He doesn't hesitate to throw the pencil at them. "Get a fucking room, goddamn y'all."

 "This is our room!" Laf pouts. 

 John rolls his eyes and looks towards Alex, who has become suspiciously quiet. In fact, he seems to have become more reserved since Hercules proposed the squad name change. "You alright?" He asks. 

 "Yeah, I'm fine. It's just, I've never really had a group of friends before, and most people get really fed up with me and I just really appreciate you guys I never really thought I'd find friends in college. Everyone tells you that you find friends when you go to college, but I didn't really believe them, you know? But you all are great and amazing," Alex finally runs out of breath to continue. His speech seemed different now. Before, he seemed rushed to get all of his ideas out into the world. Now, John noticed how he almost tried to force the room to be filled with sound. As if it wasn't okay to appreciate the silence. 

 "We're glad to be your friends, too, Alexander," Hercules replies. He seems to have caught on to the same thing John did, yet his eyes held a mischievous glint to them. "Hey, did you know John is obsessed with turtles? He knows pretty much everything about them, and I swear he can draw them by memory. Wanna see?" 

 John uses Herc's distraction as an excuse to move closer to him, keeping his explanations soft and calm as he waited out Alex's episode. It was definitely worth skipping an hour long useless English lecture to be by his side. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I deal with my problems three different ways:  
> Refuse to eat, eat too much, or exercise until I feel sick  
> So I gave John the last one and I'm sure Alex or somebody will get the others ~it's only a matter of time~ 
> 
> 1 comment = 1 less day it'll take me to update again (hopefully...)


	4. Gotta Go, Gotta Get This Plot Done

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex and John cannot handle having face to face conversations but it works anyway? Random College Student is entertained.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll confess that I usually despise those texting fics but all of a sudden as I was writing it just slipped itself in so y'all can call me a hypocrite I'm now a grade A sinner
> 
> Tw: dysphoria, internalized transphobia (and mentions of cis guys being total ASSHOLES)  
> Disclaimer: I'm a demiperson so John's thoughts are based off my own which may not be totally synonymous with how a binary trans person views themself

John and Alexander had been spending more and more time together. Especially as Alex was much better at all the pre-law classes than John, so he made for a good tutor when John just couldn't bring himself to care about studying anymore. He'd taken to dedicating a nondescript portion of his sketchbook to exclusive portraits of Alex. John felt that he had mastered a lot of difficult concepts when it came to his art, yet he still struggled to capture the passion that was hidden within Alex's eyes. It was frustrating, but a challenge that he enjoyed. The more he couldn't quite get it right, the more excuses he had to draw Alex again, and again, without having to admit his feelings. 

"So, um, John," Alex says in the middle of one of their "study" sessions. 

John raises his head from where it was buried in his sketchbook. They were in the library today, but being later in the evening it was relatively empty save for the bored student playing games on their phone behind the front desk. "What's up? Don't tell me you need help on something because you know I don't remember shit from freshman year." 

Alex laughs, but it sounds stilted and shaky. "No," His hair loosening from his ponytail when he shakes his head, "I was just wonder if you want to go out for dinner sometime? Like, get away from all this nasty college food."

That was a date. Alex was asking him on a date. Alex didn't know. He couldn't know, not if he was still interested. Every guy before had always left or canceled after they found out. But, maybe he was different? No. Alex was gay. He wanted guy parts that John couldn't offer. No matter how deep his voice got, or how much his hormones changed, he'd always have his unattractive body until he could afford to change it himself. He was lucky enough to be able to sneak the hormone prescriptions without his father noticing on the insurance plan, no way he'd get away with having a physically altering procedure without someone else noticing. 

Alex reaches out to touch his arm before withdrawing again, unconsciously moving further away from John. "John, are you okay? Look, forget I said anything. It's okay," He said.

"Wait!" John grabs Alex's hand as he was making to grab his books and leave, "Can I text you later? There's something I want to talk about before - if - we do go out."

Alex smiles, and it seems to light up John's whole world. He stutters out an affirmative before making his escape, leaving John to his thoughts in the library; and a very curious student watching the entire spectacle. 

* * *

**To Alex :3**

**Sent 2:43PM**

hey sorry about earlier today I really want to go out with you but theres something you should know first I dont want to lead you on and trick you into dating me when you dont know everything

 

**From Alex :3**

**Received 2:45PM**

My dearest John, I cannot imagine any truth you may hold which would bar me from wanting to be with you less. Anything you decide to tell me would be a privilege to know, and I would hold it dear to my heart always. 

 

**To Alex :3**

**Sent 2:55PM**

Im trans. like people thought i was a  girl but im acctually a guy and so i dont have the right parts or anything i get it if you dont like me anymore but pls just dont tell anybody only laf and herc know and we all still want to be friends even if you dont like me anymore

**To Alex :3**

**Sent 3:02PM**

Alex? 

?

 

**From Alex :3**

**Received 3:15PM**

John Laurens, you are the bravest man I know. I'm honored to be trusted with this information, and I promise to not break that trust. If you are happy with who you are, then I am happy with who you are. I like you as yourself, no matter if that means you're trans, cis, or otherwise. 

 

**To Alex :3**

**Sent 3:16PM**

!!!!!!!!

 

**From Alex :3**

**Received 3:16PM**

May I ask one thing, though?

 

**To Alex :3**

**Sent 3:17PM**

Shoot. 

 

**From Alex :3**

**Received 3:18PM**

What made you think I would not accept you? You know I completely respect Lafayette's gender, and adore their ability to pull off heels with jeans. Did I say something transphobic? 

 

**To Alex :3**

**Sent 3:20PM**

No!

**To Alex :3**

**Sent 3:21PM**

I mean its just a lot of guys dont liek that im trans and i didnt want to go on a date and have a good time and like you back if you were just gonna be put off by it

 

**From Alex :3**

**Received 3:22PM**

Oh, John, I'm so sorry people have done that to you. You deserve nothing less than complete and utter adoration. 

 

**To Alex :3**

**Sent 3:22PM**

<333333

 

**From Alex :3**

**Received 3:23PM**

<3 <3 <3

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My actual outline for this chapter: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT AM I DOING IDK WHER E IS THIS EVEN SUPPOSED TO BE GOING???? Ok so alex musters up the nerve to finally ask john out, wherein john wants to accept but is conflicted bc 1) hes trans and internealized transphobia/"faking" being a guy is a bitch and 2) when he finally agrees and they try to find a day to go out they cant bc college is also a bitch (that's a lie alex just takes too many damn classes u hoe) and so john gives up adn just decides draggng alex to a gsa meeting is okay (he doesnt get why alex is so reluctant, maybe bc hes never been to one? actually its cuz hes ace adn hes had issues with that before ok bye)
> 
>    
> In case any of you thought I was a genius or anything, get that outta your head right now.  
> Literally gave up after that text section I am so embarrassed by myself but it just wasn't. gonna. work. any other way. On the bright side, this chapter has actually furthered the plotline which is good because I'm more motivated to write now.  
> Let me know how I'm doing? I hope everyone is enjoying their holidays and not having to deal with shitty family. Stay safe and I love y'all <3


	5. They're Dorks, That's It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Frustration and fluff! Before Charles Lee shows up and fucks everything over, I figured I'd give y'all a nice chapter to remember John by.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If I actually get this published on the 25th I'm going to be Very impressed with myself. Another short chapter but hey, it's my present to y'all. I may be pathetic, but I'm not cruel. 
> 
> Tw: more mild dysphoria (mentioned but not in depth)
> 
> Disclaimer: I totally DIDNT and would NEVER in my wildest dreams put a really cheesy, horrible, all natural, organic, original gay joke in John's narrative

Their first date was supposed to be nice and relaxing. Instead, John got a last minute voicemail from Alexander explaining how his professor had assigned a test last minute and if he didn't study he'd lose his A in the class. The end of the message included multiple reassurances that Alex was deeply sorry and was going to write a very strongly worded letter to his professor complaining about the lack of communication to the students. The second time - John had made a reservation at a decent restaurant across town - John's father had called him earlier in the day, spending almost thirty minutes of John's time deadnaming, misgendering, and generally being a menace. After that, John didn't want to leave his dorm, let alone venture to a very public setting. Alex caught on to John's mood quickly and canceled for him. They spent the night watching The Office, which John knew Alex hated but he adored, and so Alex endured. They snacked on chips from the vending machine and barely spoke. Eventually, John mustered up the courage to cuddle into Alex's side and mumble a quiet "thank you" before falling asleep like that, the sound of The Office still playing in the background. 

Everyone says the third time is the charm. Everyone was wrong. The third date ended in catastrophe when Alex tried to set up a picnic date that ended in heavy rain, which sent Alex spiraling inside his mind. It was John's turn to take care of him, spending the rest of the night drawing for Alex - similar to that first time after the almost-fight with Seabury - as he stuttered out a story about the hurricane on Nevis. 

While every moment spent with Alex was amazing to John, it was really starting to piss him off how much fate seemed to be against them whenever they tried to do anything exclusively as a couple. Lafayette had even resorted to offering to go on a double date, but neither Alex nor John were comfortable with doing that so early in the relationship. 

Now, John was stuck with choosing between going to the weekly Gender and Sexuality Inclusion Club meeting at the college, or skip and go with Alex on a proper date. It wouldn't have been such an issue except that John was the Vice President and the President, one James Madison, generally needed a lot of help to manage all the students. 

"Not an issue!" Alex says when John explains his dilemma, "I'm always down for clubs. Actually, I don't know why I haven't gone earlier. We can totally make a date out of that, and grab some easy take out or drive-thru afterwards." John smiles. His boyfriend was literally the best person ever. 

The whole day, John was floating on cloud nine as he daydreamed about Alex. He was soft and rough and everything John could ever want. He was outspoken about his beliefs, but knew how to listen and be sympathetic when John just needed to be listened to. He wasn't cocky either. Alex only challenged someone when he knew he was right, or knew more, or was the more experienced person in the subject. Okay, so maybe that does qualify as a little cocky, but he kind of earned the right. As Alex liked to say when people were surprised by his soft side, "I'm an asshole, not a douchebag." And, well, apparently asshole was just John's type.  

* * *

So, what does the GSI Club do, exactly? Other than being inclusive?" Alexander asks as they make their way across campus. It was a fairly mild day, so they had opted to walk to the meeting hall from Alex's dorm. 

"We provide a safe space, work on educating the public about identities, and hold fundraisers for local organizations that support queer youth," John explains, "Since we're going into winter our main goal is to donate money and food to homeless shelters that cater to people kicked out of homes for being queer, and a lot of us end up volunteering too. I usually stay an extra week or two when break starts to volunteer directly."

Alex nods along, casually reaching for John's hand and smiling when he grasps it quickly. Their fingers intertwine perfectly. "That sounds amazing, John. Maybe I'll do that with my break instead of hang around the library the whole time," He says. 

"Wait," John stops walking for a second, "You're not going home for break?"

"My foster parents aren't even funding my college expenses, why would I go see them when they've already told me I'd be staying on the couch if I went back at all?" Alex answers. 

He pulls Alex into a hug, almost laughing when the shorter man lets out a small huff.

"Let's just get to this meeting. We don't want Mr. Vice President to be late, do we?" He changes the subject. 

John nods, continuing along the path to the meeting. He knew he was lucky when he started dating Alex, but he wasn't aware of just how much. 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God fucking bless all you readers putting up with my short dinky chapters. I promise the next one will be longer, and actually finish out this story arc (eventually). I have a feeling oneshots/more fics in this AU will be created later, so keep an eye out for that.


	6. Inclusion* (*some restrictions apply)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They go to the meeting, Alex is ace, Charles Lee is an asshole (and an aphobe), John has yet to develop healthy problem-solving skills
> 
> Everything is slightly more omnipresent than before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is almost it folks! Probably an epilogue or cute lil date resolution after this, then just random oneshots as I come up with gay thoughts?
> 
> Tw: aphobia, minor violence, gay person hating their own community (they exist, they suck, I hate them)
> 
> Extra note: I did make the Schuyler sisters straight allies. Yes, it's stupid. Yes, I totally headcanon them as queer all the time. The problem was if I made them queer now then I would get distracted with their stories. I'll probably do individual coming-outs for them later, or just edit this when I am Mature enough to not get sidetracked by the queer. (Psst, Peggy is autistic bc I said so and I love her).

John was excited for the meeting to start. He always enjoyed the GSI meetings, but now that he had someone to really share them with (or, well, brag about) they were even better. Today, James and the other officers had decided that they would do a relaxing meeting. The activity coordinators had scrapped together food and dragged some futons from different students' dorms. Next to the plates and cups was a stack of name tags with instructions to 'put your name, pronouns, and sexuality (optional).' John filled out his, including sexuality ('hella gay'), and handed one to Alex. He stared at it dumbly for a second before coming to his senses, quickly grabbing the sharpie and doing the same, scribbling out 'bi' underneath his pronouns. 

As they lingered around the food table, John snatching chips but refusing to actually pile a plate with them, more and more students filed in. John was glad to see so many people attending their meetings. Even allies were venturing in with friends, chatting up a storm and keeping the space comfortable. They ended up being pulled towards the futons as the Schuyler sisters appeared. All three were ecstatic to hear John was dating Alex, and kept hounding them for details on when they got together, where, who asked who, and so on. 

"Oh I just knew you were dating someone, Alex!" Eliza exclaimed. "You always were a flirt but it definitely toned down around the time you two hooked up,"

Alex flinched slightly when Eliza mentioned 'hooking up' but no one seemed to notice. He shuffled around a little, trying to resist picking at the name tag stuck to his chest. Technically, he didn't lie on it, but that was definitely open to interpretation. Besides, his last high school club made it clear that his sexual preference was supposed to be private, between him and his partner. As far as anyone else was concerned, Alex was bi. 

Although many people were wearing their usual clothing, Alex noticed that one girl - Peggy, Eliza's sister - was wearing a white, gray, black, and purple striped tee. 

"Nice shirt," Alex commented, after John had gone off to talk to others. 

Peggy beamed in response. "Thanks! I came across a site that sold pride shirts to donate money to queer youth. I figured ace-mates deserved some visibility too, ya know?" she responded, her curls bouncing around her as she rocked on her feet. At that moment, a burly man sneered their way. 

"You got a problem with that, Lee?" Peggy shot out, noticing Alex shrink under his gaze. 

Lee drew closer, and the group grew silent as they felt the tension rise. "As a matter of fact, I do. You see, to be queer you have to actually be oppressed. Last time I checked, Christians and homophobes think celibates are the most pure people on earth."

Alex could feel himself get worked up. But if he made a scene now, who knew what John would think. Maybe he agreed with Lee? Was it really worth losing his first real boyfriend just because he didn't want to have a lot of sex? He was breaking, torn up over his feelings. He was always so open with everyone in high school, no matter what they thought. But where did that get him? Friendless and without any hope of a romantic relationship. No, it was better to just- 

"Not to mention, all they do is steal our resources for themselves. Who's ever heard of an ace person that felt suicidal, or was kicked out, or didn't get a job because they didn't want sex? What a joke," Lee continued. 

Okay, that's it. Fuck his social life, Alex was pissed. 

"Hey! Mr. White Gay Man!" Alex called to Lee, "Ever thought that maybe not everyone has the exact same experiences as you? Did you know people have been raped for that 'not wanting sex' as you called it. Besides, how exactly do ace people steal resources? I mean, if we need help, or got kicked out, or wanted to die because someone hurt us for our sexuality - that's  _stealing_ to you?" 

The room was absolutely quiet. A feather could drop and it would sound like a bomb. 

Suddenly, Lee laughed, "Oh my god, you're one of them! You're a fucking pussy that just doesn't want sex, so suddenly you can call yourself gay! What a joke."

There was a flurry of movement, and the next thing anyone knew, Lee was on the ground holding his nose while John Laurens stood above him, panting. 

"Don't you ever talk to my boyfriend again, asshole," And with that, Laurens continued his beating. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will apologize for the weird plotline/lack thereof. This was only supposed to be a little oneshot to project my feelings about aphobes but obviously it turned into a lot more than that. I'm hoping more ideas will come my way for the AU I've built here. Feel free to comment suggestions, I'm not a creative person :3
> 
> S/O to all the people that left comments on this story, they really motivate me to keep going when I see someone is enjoying it. Y'all are the best, and I appreciate each and every one of you. 
> 
> OKAY LAST NOTE: Fun fact - I write my summaries/notes before I actually write the chapters which is a great way to get started when you suck at fighting writer's block. Just a lil word of advice for anyone out there.


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